Winters Night
by Peddy poo's
Summary: We all know that Ben is a walking stack of secrets, but when the biggest one of all lands on American soil should he run or fight for what is his?
1. Snow Sucks

**Most of you will know my comfort zone of Dragon age but i fell for this series quite hard, I also felt for Ben on a 'all Brits together' trip but i always wanted to know what his story was. So many unexplained factors. Plus he put himself through so many windows i thought he should have a happy ending. Thank you Patricia Briggs who owns all this wonderous world, forgive me for introducing a new player. **

**As usual reviews always welcomed so that i may grow.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

"I hate American snow"

"What? Why? "

"It's just so…I don't know, Hallmark isn't it as you colonials might say? I hate having to screw up my eyes with its awful shine. Snow in London is grey and something that is removed immediately!"

"Who hates snow? I mean you have to be demented to not like something so clean and …"

Wiping the sudden snowball from her face Mercy began to spit out the slushes of ice that accompanied it. Ben stood a few metres away with a smug grin on his face.

Ben's hair flickered in the light wind that tripped over the rolling hills of snow beneath their boots. He looked washed out slightly and his hair had become longer and darker but she put that down to the human version of a winters coat. The beginnings of a beard was slightly more concerning though, it wasn't a bad set of bristles but it seemed to have spawned through some kind of melancholy and although she still kept a watchful eye on Ben after the demon had finished with him last Summer, he still had glum-like moments that he was entitled to. She continued to study his features as she cleared the wet snow from her face. He looked a little pleased with himself but an undercurrent of anger filled the air which would explain the slightly more harder edge the snowball he had hit her with. She didn't mind that in fact she was grateful that he constantly refused to treat her with kid gloves.

"Keep looking at me like that sweet-heart and I'm telling Daddy" He mocked

"You wish. By the way that wasn't all snow"

"That's why girls shouldn't play with the big boys, whinger"

"Whinger? What does that even mean?"

"We can't do that with our snow back home" Ben continued rousing her from her amateur attempt to examine her moody companion. "It's all mush and grey. In fact we are not even sure its snow. By the time we get through buggering it with grit we are complaining about the chaos it all causes. You would think that by now we would have acclimatised to the dull and beautiful weather that graces our little island."

"Do you miss home?"

"Do you?"

"What does that mean?"

"Is this your Home, Mercy?"

"Yep. It is. It ain't great but I was done with roaming a long time ago. And you know what they say home is where the heart is" She fought the blush that was creeping up. Disgusted with herself she looked down at her feet almost missing Bens whispering answer

"Then yes…I do"

"Do I sense a loved one left behind?"

"You may be silent now Thompson, crafty witch"

"Yeah right. Come on, what's up with you lately?"

"You and Adam make me sick, that enough?"

Actually it was, mercy felt guilty and Ben noticed.

"I woke up this morning feeling sorry for myself, don't know why but meh...shit happens"

Ben wiped his hands on his sweater and took a shrug clearly ending the conversation. After a few moments he took a sniff in the air and the contempt for nature made his eyes roll to the heavens.

"I hate it…so white and…god it's awful"

"Okay okay we are done appreciating the scenery. Thank you for following me up here and refusing to give me at least five seconds of alone time. Thank you for spoiling what I have always enjoyed about this time of year and thank you for making me grateful for all the things I previously hated about my life. Yours is far worse."

"Hey lady, I'm just doing what I'm told. Those the rules, plus we can't go back. I don't want to be anywhere near Adams whilst the newbie is there. It's so bloody tedious and I have to be nice...I hate that. Plus she will get the lecture about not being left alone with me whilst I'm not there which is always a bonus. Then I can get back and be all '_GRRR show us your pants'_ and they can be all '**Ben..back off'** and finally….my reputation…is intact"

"Are you for real?"

"One hundred per cent cynic, Mercy you know me, besides I want to degrade myself a little further and play fetch. I have a great stick you can play with!"

"Pervert"

"That would be me"

The unlikely pair laughed the conversation off both relieved that the tension it almost brought had disappeared. They spent a few more hours in the meadows at the back of the reservation before returning to the main road and Mercy's waiting rabbit. She had attempted to get back sooner but Ben had locked his jaws around the stick that he had attached himself to and even though she was curious to get back she didn't want to spoil his fun. She never used to be as comfortable in Ben's presence as she is now and she never saw it coming but the two had struck up an unlikely and silent friendship over the last year. He had saved her life unquestionably on so many occasions that she felt he deserved the break she now gave him. Ben was one misunderstood wolf and she would flatten anyone who did it again. Saying that Ben loved the black sheep tag and played it to the max, she understood this and was happy to play along to a point making it clear when it was just the two of them he left the slime ball at home. She had a feeling there was a hell of a lot more to this messed up wolf and would wait patiently for him to share it.

As the rabbit purred to life Ben continued his low key grumblings about the vehicle of mercy's choice. Speaking over him she resumed the conversation about the packs new guest.

"I wonder what's she is like."

"A werewolf?" he grunted

"Brilliant. I mean will she be a Honey or an Aurielle? Pretty or brainy? Come on Ben you have to be curious about who is going to be sharing your breakfast table surely?"

"Not my table"

"You know what I mean. I wonder if she is unmated. Christ that will be trouble for Adam, don't you think? There are a few of you not mated and its coming up to winters night. The prom for wolves" She laughed out loud throwing her head back whilst being impressed by her own lame joke. Ben was not. "Laugh it up puppy. It's not like that. " he bit back "You wouldn't understand, although it might affect you this year now that…well you know now that your tripping the light fan-bloody-tastic, god mated wolves suck. You won't catch me jumping around a field at night literally chasing tail. And when you do…I'm going to piss myself laughing. Anyway I was told she isn't sticking around"

"Huh? She is going Lone?"

"Of a sorts. She is just passing by asking for permission to be here, we won't see her again bloody student. Checking in and kissing arse I reckon."

"Arrrrse" Mercy repeated mimicking Ben's accent.

"Mature"

"That's me" She answered mocking his earlier conversation winner "Student eh?"

"Eyes on the road, Thompson. Shit, women! You drive like a blind monkey playing tennis" The car swerved and Mercy laughed. Ben didn't.

The journey home continued with the same show, Mercy stopped the car twice to hit Ben for suggesting he should drive and Ben demanded she pull over so he could walk home each time she said no. When they finally arrived back at Mercy's trailer he leapt out as though he hadn't seen land for a year.

"Thank god, you drive like shit"

"Go home Ben your grumpy git"

"You have been spending too much time together for you to even know what a 'git' is Mercy Thompson" came a voice from behind them. Samuel had got home just before them and they failed to hear the pounding of his boots being clashed together to dislodge any snow. Mercy turned to him making a big show to dismiss Ben. "I still don't but everyone else does since it's the one thing most commonly used to describe the crabby old wolf. Have you been to the house yet?"

"Adams?"

Ben groaned and Mercy grumbled both sharing a secret smile as they did so.

"Yes Adams house, what is it with you men today?"

"I have and I have just got back." Sam slowly looked up and over Mercy locking eyes with the wolf who had now decided he didn't want to go home after all. "You two are back early; you were due back in an hour or so. Does Adam know your back?" Mercy gawped at him in response. Samuel seemed to pause as if studying the options for his next move very carefully. Awkward was settling down on the small space the three occupied. "Ben, why don't you stay for a while and have something hot to drink. By the looks of you, you have been up and down a cold field."

Something was up. Mercy quirked an eyebrow and Ben stiffened. The dominant magic flowing off of Samuel now became a little intoxicating and Mercy gawped as Ben did as he was told. Nothing more was said but the 'leave it Mercy' look was loud and clear.

Ben walked easily past her and Sam and up the creaky metal steps that led to her front door. He flapped with the door and eventually let himself in. He called out to the two still outside that he intended to relief himself in her bathroom, but of course being Ben it was not in so polite a phrasing.

"Come on. You know all the stories about him are crap; he can go back to the house I think it's unfair to keep this tag on him don't you? He has proved himself ten times around me and Jesse."

"Leave it mercy. It's a bit bigger than that and he can hear us"

"Sam…"

"Mercy please, it won't do him any favours to go back now. Trust me"

She didn't know why she was putting up a fight; a hot drink would be welcomed and besides her jeans were soaked through at the bottom. She made her way past Samuel who if she didn't know better was visibly relieved that she was giving up this particular argument, which seemed to be the theme of the day.

"So much secrecy, what is she the president's daughter or something?"

"Something like that although I'm sure she won't thank you for the comparison. Inside, Mercy there is a strong wind blowing up and all kinds of things come with it"

"Like what?"

"Scents. She has been here since this morning and we have been working hard to make this go smoothly…for Ben. That's why you picked him up at his place this morning."

They both listened as the sound of whistling came from inside Mercy's trailer. Ben was making himself audibly at home and whooped loudly with delight as he found the daytime soaps.

"He can't go back yet mercy; just keep him busy for an hour or so. Trust me on this." Sam whispered low enough that my ears could pick it up. His eyes spoke louder. She just couldn't let it go her interest had been piqued.

"Oh for the heavens…The new wolf is a Marrok's daughter, newly turned."

"Still don't think Ben is a problem. Especially if she is newly turned and we don't think she needs to stay here."

The frustration led him to grab her arm and pull her further away and closer.

"Think about it Mercy. She is not my sister so which possible Marrok do you think she might be a cub of, eh?" His welsh accent grew thicker when he was agitated and by the quick glance over his shoulder Mercy could tell that he was nervous. "Da says he isn't to know and you know what…I agree, don't push it. You don't know a lot of things about Ben and if you care about him as much as you seem to show then leave this now. You really will get eaten one day, Mercy Thompson, too inquisitive by half!"

"London?" she shook her head "I still don't see why"

"It's Lizzie isn't it?" Ben's voice came slow and quiet over the wind. Mercy couldn't see him but looked into Sam's eyes that were screwed tight. He opened them and glared at Mercy who pulled her arms out of Sam's now relaxed grasp and stood to the side. Ben stood on the top step with one shaking hand on the battered wooden banister that led down to the icy ground. He thrust his head upwards as if scanning the airwaves for signs and clues to reassure his senses. With a tearful like restraint he brought his attention back to Mercy and Sam, particularly Sam.

"Answer me, stop protecting your own. Do you know what it has been like?"

Sam turned to look at Mercy gently as she looked on "Yes, Ben...I do"

"Ben, careful" Mercy warned him. She hadn't liked the sound of his voice. It sounded cold, quiet and distant. Sam took a step towards him and Ben obliged the closing distance by walking forward. It all started to make sense, the reason why Sam was insistent on it being dropped and Bens change in place and loss of control"

"Go inside. Nothing good can come of you going to the house. You made this decision, the right decision so you should stick to it. She will be gone soon."

"How long since she was turned?"

"Ben…"

"I am going to the house now, Sam"

"You're not listening to me Ben"

"YOUR NOT LISTENING TO ME SAM!" the anger rang out furiously. And for a moment it felt like the roles had been reversed. Mercy had never seen Ben this wound up not even when he confronted Adam on her behalf. He started to undress on the porch and for a moment the whole thing became surreal. Sam started to undress in a rush as if this was a race. For someone on the outside Mercy thought the while thing was a little too macho but the creeping feeling that she should have left it alone began to grow in her stomach.

Seeing a Werewolf transform was not the prettiest of sights in a normal instance but to see two try when angry and rushed was even worse. By the time Mercy had made it back to the Rabbit Sam had changed and was charging at a naked Ben. He brought his arm up to block Sam's attempt at getting any closer to his face, we all knew Sam didn't intend to harm but frighten Ben, it didn't work.

With a quick move Sam swiped his giant paw to the side of Bens head and knocked him out cold. He stayed put over him as if to shield him from the cold and when he was convinced that Ben was truly out for the count he turned his gaze on her and snarled.

"Yeah…I should have dropped it, I get it. But how was I to know she was his mate?"


	2. Vegas Baby!

**CHAPTER TWO**

_"Dance for me"_

_"What now?"_

_"Yeah…dance for me…I want to watch you"_

_"I feel like a lamb when you watch me…those eyes of yours watching me like I'm prey. I can feel you sometimes even before I see you"_

_"That's called getting in too deep"_

_"I'm a good swimmer"_

_"You will need to be"_

Louder noises started to pull him out of a happy memory; Ben gripped on to the darkness as if waiting for the good part, blurred voices in the now replaced the warm and gentle voice of a siren as he allowed his rapid breathing to slow. His Survival instincts suddenly cut in and he got a blind sense of his surroundings and companions.

"Mercy…" _Samuel_, he thought relieved.

"Ok, I know I'm about to get a lecture but I really don't think us whispering about anything started all this"

The five minutes prior to being knocked out started to flood back quickly to Ben and as if to accessorise the embarrassing situation his head began to throb.

"He said he felt out of sorts since this morning, isn't that when she arrived?"

A gaping hole started to form in his stomach and the pain become worse. Why do they talk so much? Do they have nothing better to do? Surely Mercy had to put hers and everyone else's life in danger by now?

"He could probably feel her on the edge of the pack. He had no idea she had been turned…but a wolf knows his mate"

"Ben has a mate?"

_No Ben doesn't! _he thought. _Get up! Get up!_ He urged himself to open his eyes but a part of him hoped he would drift back to the memory he was sure he had a few moments ago…the lingering sensation of happiness skirted around his heart…

"Well…no, technically he hasn't. But as you and I both figured out when a wolf says he does…it's not so easy to change. This right here is how Adam would act if you said no to him. When the two halves both agree there is little or nothing you can do. For me, we both agreed my human half had lost you but it would have been a different story had I not. God help any dominant who tried to step me down."

"Why didn't she come with him when he came over?"

Ben could play possum with the best of them. The conversation unwinding next to him was what he expected. It was none of their business and he felt like telling them so but he knew that if he got up now the power of speech would fail him. He over reacted and that's the bottom line, they should know he has little control over the simple things. He would go home pack a few things and disappear for a while. Under no circumstances should he go anywhere near Elizabeth Matthews, they didn't need to tell him that.

"Bran knows about this?" Mercy had her back to Ben as she pressed Samuel more for information.

"Marrok's talk Mercy"

Ben had had enough of staying silent. Marrok's talked alright about everyone else but not about themselves.

"I bet they do" he croaked and that got their attention "Believe me Terrence is a big girl when it comes to slagging off former pack mates"

"Steady Ben. Terry is a friend of yours still and a Marrokl" Sam urged.

"Bull shit. I am allowed to voice my lack of faith in his highness and there is fuck all you can do about it."

"Language Ben, this is my home…"

"… He dumped me in this shit hole didn't he? Slapped a massive possible rapist tag on my back while he was at it and wished me good luck."

"You know he didn't do that. You did a noble thing"

"Sam, save it. With all due respect I didn't do anything. I took a hit for a team that couldn't wait to be rid of me…trust me he wanted me gone"

"The place of a Marrok is never an easy one...did you ever ask what would you have done?"

"Nothing, I would have done nothing or possibly punish the one who committed the actual crime? The only thing I was guilty of was being too keen to believe he had faith in me." Ben finished the conversation and dived into a new one "where are my trousers… I'm going to Vegas"

"Vegas?" Mercy repeated

"So all of that out there was about your banishment and not..." Sam thought he was on to something deep but Ben was not in the mood. He cut him off before that kick in the gut came back with the name on his lips

"…yeah. Now who is coming to Vegas, where the women shower me in cheap booze, lobster and hopefully their breasts?"

Mercy scoffed "Ben…" he thought he had her on his side but the doubt into his motives had leaked from Sam all over the trailer. He couldn't even side track her with sexist propaganda.

"Honestly Mercy stop the fussing. I over reacted we do that, not the first time and not the last."

"Well I for one would like to meet the women who can chase Ben Hammond away" she persisted.

"No one is chasing me away. I have no desire to be anywhere near a Matthews that's all. Where is my underwear?"

"That little to you eh?"

Mercy was becoming more annoying than Sam. Ben had to get out of that trailer and fast before it got worse and the small part of control he had left was lost.

"Exactly, screw the bitch huh Ben?"

In a moment the air had turned violent. Sam had crossed a line for a reaction and Ben was going to give him one. He had no care that he wanted to go for a more dominant wolf only to defend …her.

"Watch your mouth" he snarled, his top lip curling back over his teeth, why couldn't he control it, he thought silently now admonishing himself. _Get out Benjamin…Get out_. He moved closer to the trailer door now no longer caring that he couldn't find his clothes.

"Yep….no desire to be anywhere near her, cheerio I'll send you a postcard"

His handed rested on the shabby metal handle that seemed to be hanging off its hinges. As he gripped his sweaty palm to it and gave it a tug back the door creaked open filling the room with a cool breeze that Ben much needed. Along with that breeze came the one thing that he really didn't want to see

"Ok you two stop prodding the man and give us a moment"

Adam had arrived. Ben waited for Mercy and Sam to reluctantly leave before throwing his hands up to his head, scrubbing his shaking hands through his sweat riddled hair surveying all possible exit routes. Adam on the other hand stood stock still and strong making it clear that there was no escape route through him and the only door in the tiny battered trailer Mercy called a home.

"Ben…I am not going to say this twice and I have no desire to father you but sit the hell down"

Ben walked up and down the carpet biting his thumb nail. He assessed everything in moments. He knew he didn't want to sit down but Adam would put him down, he knew he didn't want to talk about anything, but Adam would make him. There was no quick way out of this other than just getting it over with and telling him what he wanted to hear. He sat down…slowly making a show that he was in the nude and bothered.

"Happy?" he flung his arms out in an outrageously camp manner before bringing his hands together in a large clap throwing himself back into the tiny chair he had picked to wallop into "Now be a good chap and pass me my sock. It's rather nippy old boy"

"Enough"

"Have I done something wrong? What this time?"

Adam gazed at him silently assessing the brat like wolf in front of him

"Let me know when you are finished with your public school boy routine"

Ben smiled.

"I'm finished"

"Right" the Alpha continued as if he had dealt with his tantrums for years. He said he had no wish to father him but at times like this that's exactly what he was. "Would it interest you to know that Liz…"

"….Liz?" _Lizzie_ Ben thought...its Lizzie._ Liz is too old a name_.

"Yes, she goes by Liz now"

"Oh shit, please"

Adam glared for him to be silent and waited until he had shifted about enough to make a point before he continued.

"…that Liz…will not be staying here. She will based out of town and travelling in. you won't be affected by her at all."

"I've been trying to tell you all that" Ben laughed a little too outrageously to be believable.

"I never knew and never asked why, Ben, but I'm listening now"

"Adam, for fucks sake mate…I'm good. Wolf mojo went crazy that's all. She was my pack and I was assigned to her for years. I took her everywhere, picked her up waited whilst she spent all her dads money even as a human it gets on your radar. It was a flashback and I fought to get back to pack. That's it"

"That's it"

"Yes…That's…it"

"Sam said he couldn't reach you earlier. You acted as though he was nothing. He is more dominant then I and it did nothing to you? Why do you think that was?"

"I'm tired"

It was Adams turn to lean back into his chair now folding his arms over his chest. They watched each other for what seemed like forever and finally Adam broke the silence; Ben knew he wasn't fooled and that this was not the end of it.

"You really are going Vegas?" He asked

"Yeah"

"Why Vegas?"

"Why do you think?

"Because of Liz..."

"Lizzie"

Adam leaned in placing his elbows on the end of his knee as he stared Ben down; Ben lowered his eyes as his alpha continued

"Because of Liz?"

"No...Because I need to get laid and wasted" _and out of this fucking trailer_ Ben thought.

"Ok. Well like I say she is staying out of town and studying during the day at the college. She has a job working nights in a club but apart from that..."

"Working in a club? HA…princess got a job. She is a Ballerina not a waitress!"

Adam stood and tucked the chair he had been sitting on under the table beside him. The conversation was over.

"Yeah well her father is supportive of her, I couldn't be of Jesse but Liz has a good head on her shoulders."

Ben continued to stare at the floor

"Plus one of your old pack friends will be out soon to check on her, I'm told he will be making a stand for her if she agrees"

"What?"

"Sorry?" Adam was playing the ignorant fool, Ben thought and it enraged him but he was careful to keep it in check as he spoke through his teeth.

"Who?"

"Hunter? Or something"

"James fucking Hunter"

"That's the one" Adam tidied his shirt into his waistband "…now you enjoy Vegas and don't forget to bring back Jesse one of those snow globes."

Adam left the trailer and shut the door behind him. He placed his hands in his coat pocket and begun whistling an old tune as he jumped the fence between his and mercy's property. Behind him he heard the crash and bang of wooden furniture dying a slow and painful death but the smile on his face was heavy and broad. Mercy and Sam were waiting to greet him as he arrived back on the porch of his house, Sam standing from the old rocking chair and Mercy rising from her place on the top step.

"Well?" Mercy asked

"He isn't going anywhere" The Alpha replied "but you will both need some new dining furniture."


	3. Treading Water

**CHAPTER THREE**

Elizabeth Matthews gripped the steering wheel of her hire car like it was holding her afloat. Glaring at the automatic central heating dial that she blamed for the beads of sweat forming on her brow she huffed a loose curl away from her cheek and groaned loudly going over and over the threats her father had made to her if she didn't turn up.

She had begged and pleaded with her father not to send her there and he had not appreciated the points she had made that it was the modern age and Wolf traditions and politics needed a swift bout of updating. He also mentioned something about growing some balls but then that was her father. She suggested that perhaps a polite email or telephone call would have suffice and even at one point a carrier pigeon but in the end after many threats and tantrums off she trot, pout and all or face the wrath of her Marrok.

She had arrived at precisely 9am just as she was told to after an hour long car journey fully intending to go in on her own steam after giving herself some time to get the look of a petulant 15 year old of her face. She was there to introduce herself and ask for a rite of passage from the home town pack and as she knew they were going to say yes anyway it made the whole morning a waste of her time. She needed to be back at her apartment unpacking and home making, she had looked forward to being out of her father's domain so that she could revel in her independence not fall in line with another. After waiting in the drive for twenty minutes a leggy blonde female appeared at her window rousing her with a swift hard knock and a face full of white teeth. When Elizabeth turned to her the blonde showed her best charades trick and signalled for her to wind the window down. At any other point in time she would have toyed with her but the voice of her father rolling around in her conscience smacked her back into line.

"Can I help you?" Leggy said. Elizabeth decided that the name would suit this new player in her life; it wasn't a put down but a compliment some of her friends would die for the pins she sported.

"Yes I am erm…Lizzie, sorry ..." she cleared her throat trying desperately to remember her werewolf etiquette "Liz Matthews, I have an appointment with Mr Hauptman at 9am?"

"It's twenty past …you better come in and FYI…no one calls him Mr Hauptman. Adam is fine"

"Right "Elizabeth climbed out of the car as leggy stepped back, slamming the door behind her she didn't turn her back and kept eye contact at all times. Leggy smiled to herself and swung her arms behind her back as if assessing some new toy.

"So you're her eh?" Leggy swished her head around and her blonde locks followed into line with her, she was a walking L'oreal advert and Elizabeth started to feel inadequate, just one more reason she wanted to go home.

"Her?" she replied.

"Baby Marrok? Ha its ok, just thought you would be…I don't know...bulkier?"

"Right"

"Your full of words aren't you?"

"No not really, I don't have much to say." Elizabeth allowed her eyes to roam around as she followed behind Leggy's giant strides.

"Oh right…that would make a lot of sense?"

"Sense?"

"I guess Ben would prefer his woman silent"

The floor opened up and the world began to cave in. Elizabeth gasped for air at the name and a pain in her chest ripped away at her shell thrashing to be let out of an old prison locked away years ago for its own good. She felt a leak in its walls and she thrashed around for something to say…leggy stilled. No-one had mentioned that name in three years….no-one.

_Benjamin? _ The instant regret at allowing it to be projected twice stung harder _no tears, no weakness_

"Lizzie? " A sudden voice pulled some of her attention as she gripped the lapels of her jacket trying very hard to keep it normal. As her name was repeated again she recognised its warmth and allowed it to help her build up those broken walls. She breathed in through her nose and out a slight gap in her parted lips as she turned to meet the voice.

"Lizzie this is Honey and she has a big mouth" he grimaced at Leggy and she walked away slowly waving a short salute style goodbye. Elizabeth preferred Leggy but Honey was just as good, it wasn't her fault and she probably wasn't even meant to come and meet her outside but wolves are just as curious as cats and the Greek goddess probably couldn't help herself. She pictured them all having a good laugh at her expense as he explained an old fling couldn't live without him and that he will have to do a runner for a bit until she was gone…especially if it interfered with his new project, might even be Leggy for all she knew.

More of the mental walls began to sludge away as she remembered him loudly discussing conquests whilst she was in hearing distance, he told her he was no good… she wished to god she had listened. She rocketed for her best form of defence as Samuels face took on a worried tinge. She could feel a warm dominant glow walk over her but she opted for her own brand of medicine and hate boiled up through her stomach to wash away the images of Benjamin in her mind. Hate kept her alive and would continue to do so until she graduated and left here.

Elizabeth threw her arms around Samuel and seemed to hang on for dear life. After a minute of weakness and a few nose nudges of reassurance in her hair she broke away fully composed.

"Samuel, thank god" Now it was just the two of them she began to feel she could relax a little more, surely Samuel will now understand why this whole thing was a bad idea. She hadn't even allowed herself to address the real problem as to why she shouldn't go there. As soon as she had made her mind up to go she scouted the areas in which she felt she would be safe and ignorant…and this house was NOT a safe place. In fact she black flagged it on a small map she intended to stick on her kitchen wall; with neat little lines she had marked this area out as the 'NO WAY JOSE' zone. She made a mental note to buy more flag pins.

"That bad huh?" Samuel continued to rouse her in conversation.

"Is there any way I can just go? I'm erm...I'm just not..."

"He isn't here, girl, relax"

She couldn't, she had tried but she knew why she was off and grumpy and it had absolutely nothing to do with unpacking. She had felt it since she took the turning on to the large back road leading here. Bleakness and silence echoed and she had found it harder to breathe as though she was fighting with some kind of altitude sickness. She felt like her heart was trying to take two beats and she couldn't remember when she last took a deep breath.

"Who? I'm just feeling a little tired"

"Let me take you to Adam, it will help." Sam was not buying any of it. He guided her through the living room and into a small office type space on the ground floor. As she walked through the large oak doors she noticed that they didn't match the fine interior. In fact she could see that with all the best possible will in the world the recent repair jobs that had been made to large holes in the wall and possibly a few windows made it clear that trouble often called at this house.

"So I spoke with ya Da this morning and he is in the total dark about this job you have lined up"

"Is he? I told him" She felt like she was back in the game, tormenting her father was always a good relaxing way for her to spend her time. She picked up a small tortoise shell egg that sat as a paperweight on the large wooden desk at the far end of the small room.

"No, what you said to him was you were working in a club" Sam placed himself on the corner of the desk so that he could fully face her and Elizabeth counteracted the movement by positioning herself so that he couldn't.

"Which I am" she replied toying with the smooth paperweight in her trembling fingers.

"Do you remember the time you told him you were popping out to the shops? They found you in Edinburgh"

"I didn't lie"

"But you didn't tell him the whole truth either"

She shrugged

"Is that what you think I am doing now?"

"ohhhh one hundred per cent, Lizzie, one hundred per cent" they both took a moment to look conspiratorially at each other with wicked grins. Samuel had visited her pack on many occasions after she was bought into it, and always as family. Growing up in a Pack when you are human means you have thousands of brothers and Sam was one of her favourites. He found himself on 'walkabout' many times in London and she enjoyed the harmony he restored to her father's eyes each time he visited. Samuel would take her on camping trips to the valleys and sometimes nights were pure joy as she watched his happy memories float over his eyes at being back in his homeland. This gave him a special place in her heart and a big reason why she wanted to choose the 'Moreton school of Dance' as her place of study.

"Sorry to keep you, I'm Adam Hauptman and I shall be your Alpha today" The over protective grilling that Samuel felt he needed to lay on her was interrupted by a large force of nature that strolled into the office space consuming every ounce of energy. Elizabeth had seen Alphas but none that commanded such a presence. As if being excused on cue Samuel hugged her goodbye and nudged her head with his nose a few times more for good measure. He invited himself for dinner on Sunday evening and departed with no fuss.

The large doors closed behind him and then it was just the two of them left in silence. Elizabeth put the paperweight down and turned around to address this Adam Hauptman.

"Mr Hauptman…."

"It's Adam…"

"Okkkk..Adam. I know you must have a lot on but I have had a very long journey and I have so much to do"

"Am I being dismissed, already?" the Alpha cocked his head to the side and grinned, she was not fooled she could see the warning in his eyes. Elizabeth had a feeling her lapse at manners was being overlooked because of her newness to not just being a werewolf but the sudden independence she had received, that didn't mean he was going to like it.

"Lizzie, may I call you Lizzie?" he started

"It's Liz…"

"Liz, you need to play nice. I'm not an Alpha who pulls rank a lot, I've never needed to and I'd like to keep it that way if that's ok." he finished.

That really wasn't going to work for her but she played along, only so she could get out. She lowered her eyes in response just enough to not look like she was talking to a shag pile rug.

"I apologise. It's not easy for me to be here sir."

"I understand. The reason why I asked you here was so that my pack could get your scent, you will need to run when you are called and we want you to feel at home here. I'm sure we can come to some way of working this out and I am sure that Ben will want the same? Besides all wolves in my jurisdiction are family and I wouldn't want you to miss out on that bond, you will need it."

Elizabeth had no intention of attending any family BBQ's so pushed on with what troubled her with Adams last statement.

"I was led to believe that Mr Hammond didn't know I was here? So are we going to discuss this with him?" her eyes momentarily flashed up to meet the Alphas and the honey brown that she saw pushed her back down again.

"I can see that's not what you want but I feel I need to speak for Ben. He is a trusted member of my pack and one who has proven his loyalty to me more than enough times for me to say that I am not comfortable with dismissing or holding facts from him in what I like for him to call a home, I think we both know that he hasn't had the most…traditional of upbringings shall we say and that trust does not come easily with him. I do not want to jeopardise that now"

"It's not that big a deal, sir. He would probably agree that we shouldn't cross paths also"

"Then let's let him decide shall we?"

Elizabeth screamed with frustration inside. She had seen pictures of a young girl on his desk and by his attempt at bluffing her she would assume he was every bit of a father as her own.

"I understand. I can see that this has all been a waste of time. Thank you for seeing me I will leave immediately." It was risky but she had to try.

"I hope that's a bluff Liz," he interjected her rather splendid attempt at a dramatic exit as her hands were on the door knobs about to pull them back "you two are shockingly similar it's a shame you can't work things out. He is out with Mercy at the moment but…"

"Mercy?" the stab of jealousy hit her hard. He didn't waste any time at all she thought probably off walking hand in hand through the snow spilling all his troubled life stories to her as she lapped it up like a love sick cub. Telling her all the things he could to make it clear he was being honest when he said he was bastard so you couldn't throw it back in his face later…_breathe Liz…breathe_ …she urged herself calm just enough to hear his reply

"Mercy is my mate"

_Or maybe not_ she sighed as her cheeks began to cool.

"Oh"

She caught Adam glance at her and the signs of an internal debate tripped over his brow. He was eyeing her as though he had found the answer to a puzzle and with a brief run of his hand over his chin he pushed the conversation aside as easily as he had walked into the room. She was expecting more of a fight.

"If I cannot make you change your mind then I will stick to our agreement. He will not know you are here from us if it can be helped and we will inform you of where you are free to roam when you are moon called. Deal?" Adam was back in the game with his own brand of guilt slapping but she didn't care she knew this meeting was over and she let them make their own opinions of her; she would never see them again so it wouldn't matter.

"Deal"

And that's how it happened, she was sure she hadn't made a great impression and Adam would congratulate Benjamin on a lucky escape. She drove herself home, ran out of her car and up her stairs to her front door. She fumbled in her bag for her keys and once in she slammed the door shut and dropped to the floor.

_He will not break me again _she repeated over and over until she fell asleep on the cold floor hugging herself safe. Her dreams confronted her and dragged her back having other ideas about what she would think about and since she arrived her dreams had been the same….happy and enticing memories replayed over and over again as if trying to send a message to her. But it wasn't one she wanted to hear….not yet.

_"Dance for me"_

_"What now?"_

_"Yeah…dance for me…I want to watch you"_

_"I feel like a lamb when you watch me…those eyes of yours watching me like I'm prey. I can feel you sometimes even before I see you"_

_"That's called getting in too deep"_

_"I'm a good swimmer"_

_"You will need to be"_

After all the years of hurt...she was still treading water.


	4. The London Years

**_London 2004_**

"_And so the prodigal son returns eh?"_

_"Yeah well you know it always takes a lot longer to leave Leroy's then you want"_

_Cigar smoke was not like cigarette smoke. _

_Cigarettes smelt of death and bad teeth to one with a finely tuned nose but cigar smoke on the other hand was luxurious. It smelt of foreign spice, history, money and power. 'The Gentlemen's Den' had been in existence for over 200 years and in all those years it had seen many things. Within these very walls wars were declared and surrenders made, Kings were conspired against and queens grumbled about. Empires rose and banks fell but never EVER had a woman entered its doors. For a dominant Male wolf it was heaven and to the London pack it was home. _

_After the doormen stuck the twenty pound note I had just given him in his top jacket pocket he innocently wafted the smell of fine cigar smoke around the front arches by closing the large double-bolted oak doors that also served to kick out any light including the moons when it was not appreciated. The memories that thought stirred alone made my lips curve in a light smile_

_"Where is the old man?" I asked over my shoulder as I strode over to the Drinks caddy. As the sound of my shoes on the marble floor made a happy clacking sound I slowly relaxed. I was glad to be back I was slumming it in south London mostly these days but a boy needs to come home every now and then especially when he is told to by his Marrok that is._

_"He's in the back…but you aint gunna believe it"_

_I nodded a quick thank you and moved slowly to the back taking a moment or two to read the dailies queued up by the brandy cabinets. The usual suspects were all ironed and organised and the bigger financials were suspended on wooden readers for the older gentlemen who wish to keep their fingers firmly on the button…some things never change apart from the choice of rag, a few dailies that shouldn't be there had snuck in and noticing the amount of page 3 that would be appreciated around here I tucked it in my back pocket and poured myself a swifter bigger glass _

_"BENJAMIN…IN 'ERE NOW"_

_On hearing the gruff and may I say moody tones of ones elder only prompted me to pour myself a double. Beverage in check I swaggered my way to the back office._

_Terrence Matthews was a very very old werewolf, if battle-ready ever described someone Terry would be the person. He was 911 years old, medium height and covered in tribal tattoos from waist to neck but that did little to cover the scars he wore as medals of honour and an eye patch that was the coolest thing I had ever seen. He was my maker and subsequent Alpha since there wasn't a lot of them alive round these parts. London werewolves tend to want to mark their territory a lot and Alpha's come and go like women. This one however was unmoveable and had five Lieutenants that would keep it that way, I was one of them newly promoted I thank you and now based in the South London towers. So when he asked me to get back from the 'massage' house double time…I grumbled but complied._

_"Where is the fucking fire,Tel? This chick had an ass to die…"_

_I swung the glass door open and stepped into The Marroks office swirling the age old brandy around in the glass. Terrence stood with his large arms folded over his even larger chest and silently growled at me. It was then that I saw her…a teenage girl was sitting on one of the two hideous green leather sofas that decorated the room. They reminded me of the ones in posh hospitals and libraries and they were two places I would rather not be but there she sat on the very edge with her prim and proper legs slid neatly and firmly together. My eyes roamed over her and her school uniform and I felt her fear leak out over everything between us….here kitty kitty…_

_ "Someone's lost" I said as I headed straight for her enjoying the game of cat and mouse we were playing, she knew what I was that was clear because I had a feeling that if I wasn't a werewolf she would have had a witty remark or at least a tut. Terrence rained me back in with a large shock and as I winced I casually stepped back until I took up a comfy position on the sofa opposite._

_"Ben Hammond I need you to meet Elizabeth…my daughter of Caroline"_

_The next few moments cannot be accounted for. The sentence that came from Terrence's mouth stunned and appalled me. I was one of the first to advise him against his coupling with her but this was the sixties and literally everyone was a one night stand. The nights after turned into years and occasional pregnancies where he couldn't explain the constant miscarriages so she finally walked out and he let her. Pressure from all sides to make a stand for Marrok was mounting and my input did not help either, I feel no remorse that I advised against him keeping her but pack comes first. I had stood at Terrence's side for centuries and I had seen women come and go and this one had a hold over him that should not have allowed to go on for so long. I and others were glad to see the back of her. When he mentioned that she had written to him a month back telling him of a cancer I once again advised against visiting and I was beginning to think that there was more in the letter._

_Throwing my eyes to the heavens I slammed my glass down on the chestnut table beside me. I was not impressed as this was all going to end so badly they didn't need a kid let alone a woman messing things up but I knew that Terrence wanted her there even though he was advised against it and that riled me more. This…thing was not the only offspring he had Terrence knew about all his brood but he never bothered before now with them I thought it was because after 900 years of life he must have seen his fair share of loss and it was easier to make 'em them raise 'em. This definitely needed to be handled carefully._

_"My Marrok, if I might but have a word"_

_"You can do it here Ben"_

_Shit_

_"Nooooo" I gave an exaggerated nod towards this… Elizabeth… and she lost a little fear and raised an eyebrow; my anger doubled "I think we shouldn't do it at all..." I pointed and waved my finger in her general direction and she threw her eyes up to the ceiling all the fear was gone"…this is a VERY bad idea"_

_"A very bad idea? Who are you again?" she looked between me and Terrence and stood clearly trying to make a point about it being her life and it being up to her blah blah blah women were all the same especially the small ones._

_ "Shh darling the big boys are talking now" the times when women were seen, groped and not heard were good times_

_"oh good lord, look I never asked to be here in fact I don't even know where here is so if you don't mind…"_

_"BE SILENT BOTH OF YOU" Terrence loomed over the desk he had moved behind and both I and the public school girl stopped what we were doing. I sat back down and lowered my eyes immediately but she gripped onto her back pack and thought about bolting. She didn't though and after a while she sat back down._

_"Benjamin, I am not asking this of you, do you understand?" Terrence glared at me_

_"…"_

_"Do you understand?"_

_"Christ! Ok…what do you want me to do?"_

_"You will watch over her here and until she is known you will train her in the ways of our people. Teach her the no-no's and the no-gos and if I find she has been dragged to any whore houses pubs or fighting pits…I will punish you."_

_"Shit..." please tell me this isn't happening I'm having a dinner date with twins this evening._

_"Elizabeth" it was her turn now I hope he gives her both barrels…brat._

_"Your mother has passed and you must know this. We are Lycan and this is our…your pack. You will live here and learn our ways. They are not noble ways and our pack has had to stay mean in order to survive. You have to think twice before acting and you have to think quickly I cannot be there to teach you these things as I have others I must think to also. I can't promise you this will be easy but I can promise you you will be safe and want for nothing. Benjamin will give you his number and you will call it when you need him. You will be taken to your new home now and you will have time to think over all I told you this afternoon, Ben is given permission to tell you anything you wish…"_

_"Marrok…"_

_"Anything…we will talk more about your mother and her wishes when I return home. Ben…"_

_After Terrence had made it clear that there was to be no further discussion I stormed from the room and she followed. As the door closed behind us I paced a short while and tried to figure out just what this meant, obviously I am not going to be dragging myself all over London every day when her highness feels like a chat. But she kept looking at me with that look of loss in her eyes and it was pathetic._

_I wanted her gone and a little warning would buy me some time. I stalked over to her ignoring the smell she gave off, it wasn't harsh but…_

_"Listen to me little red riding hood" I leant in and placed my lips to her ear "…if you piss me off just once…I'm going to huff and puff and blow your fucking house down, get it?" she nodded shaking and I backed off. "Get your things princess I'll take you home"_

_The ride home started silent. I desperately wanted to be shot of her and also figure out any loopholes in the promise I had just made to my Marrok. I glanced over at her and as the lights turned red I took a chance to size her up again. She was not ugly but she wasn't stunning, she was 16-17 maybe and she had Brown hair. She obviously hadn't had the inclination to preen over herself because her hair suffered frizz, her nose was a small button with a slight upturn and her eyes were blue…and puffy. She hadn't broken a tear since I had been with her so it must have been beforehand. Terrence wasn't tactful and has never had to talk to a teenage girl before so he probably broke the news about her having a father who was alive and finding out that werewolves exist all in the medium of an awkward sergeant major and in an hour._

_I hated to feel sorry for her but I had no idea what to do with her let alone raise her, these were all points I had made to my Marrok when the idea was put before me about his other children. The urge must have been strong for him to get this one…or maybe his feelings for her mother were._

_"What do you eat…?"_

_Her voice was shaky but strong and it pulled me from my darker line of thought _

_"People…" I could have said food but what was the fun in that? She paled and the lights turned green._

_"What did he mean by 'they are not noble ways' are you bad…you know..."_

_"Werewolves?"_

_She nodded and turned to him, the answer to this question was important to her. The bastard in me defiantly wanted to say mass murder and devil worshipping but once again it would come back to bite me in the arse. 'Tell her anything' he told me…_

_"Our pack is one of the oldest in the world and believe me when I say that every big bad wolf wants a piece of it, this city is shit deep in trouble and bad things princess …very bad things You need to know what they are and how not get in their way. Do you know your fathers age and history?"_

_"Yes…Matthews isn't even our real name is it?"_

_"No…your father's name is Trygve and your blood name is Guthrum"_

_"That's not English is it?"_

_"Who's a clever girl? No it isn't English but who bloody is eh?"_

_ "Are you…I mean how old are you?"_

_"Rule number one…never ask a werewolf their age…it's just bloody rude"_

_As the car turned around a corner and switched the air conditioning on; it had become a little warm and even though they were five minutes away the feeling felt uncomfortable._

_"You don't need to know about me, Christ is it hot in here or is it just me?_

_"it's freezing and its November"_

_"Yeah...maybe I've caught some disease from you, it's rife in boarding school isn't it along with herpes and VD"_

_"Is sweating like a pig a symptom of that then? I'm sure you would know?"_

_OOOH she had some fire in her, I like it. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I am not giving up but it had earned her some points. The car stopped outside Terrence's town house and I presumed this is where he would want his orphan to stay, since I have no bloody idea where he wanted me to go I would take one of the rooms on the upper floors. She gawped up at the random site of the building and wiped a strand of hair away from her face._

_ "Lesson number two…nothing is done for you as you have to take care of yourself. Laziness is a weakness and we don't do those, the pack are not your bell boys…especially me"_

_I expected a little fight as I chucked her bags down on the pavement but she bent down and gathered her things. By the way she clung to them I take it that they were the only things left of hers and we had all been there._

_"Rule number three….I take two sugars and a dash of milk, I'll show you the kitchen where you should make yourself at home"_

**_Edinburgh 2008_**

_"Yes…I've got her…what music? No that's not music Terrence that's...erm…the underground?"_

_"Choo Choo"_

_"Shut up...no not you Terry…no I know they don't have undergrounds in Edinburgh but it's an erm...train museum yeah I erm took her to a train museum...bore the shit out of her and she won't do it again eh? You're breaking up...what? Sorry I can't..."_

_I quickly hit the red button on the phone I wanted to crush in my hand but glared at Lizzie instead_

_"oooh I want to go on the underground!" She was totally and unequivocally pissed. She had gone out for shoes and kept going until she reached Edinburgh._

_"CHOO CHOO"_

_"Elizabeth I don't think you understand the severity of the FUCKING SITUATION YOU ARE IN RIGHT NOW" I screamed at her but she just hiccupped back in my face. _

_I laughed, I put my hand over my smiling mouth and I laughed…she made me do shit stuff like that. I hate myself for it but over the last four years she had grown to be a woman I didn't really mind being around, which was a lot as per the pact I made with the devil four winters ago. I went away for a day and came back to find she had done a runner .That was alI it took, I had taken my eyes off her…and she was gone. I wanted to tan her behind so bad but after the panic at not being able to find her and then the tip off from the Edinburgh pack I had calmed somewhat. I finally found her pissed and abusive outside an Irish bar along the royal mile…I scooped her up, held her hair whilst she puked and lied to her father. I wanted to bite her nose so bad…._

_Thoughts like that had been happening a bit too often for my liking lately and the day I took away was for a bit of mind clearing. I found a few girls and partied…but came back a day earlier then was intended and I never did that! _

_I pulled her arm around my neck and lifted her around the waist hugging her to my side, she swung her head into my neck and nuzzled me. By the gods I wish she hadn't done that as even though she had bought up much of what she had been drinking her sweet scent made me dizzy with want. I dropped her and she crumpled on the floor in a drunken pile giggling. "God…you're a mess I should have let your father come up here"_

_"On the tube?"_

_"Pack it in" I picked her up again making a conscious effort to keep a little distance but by the time I hailed a cab and got us to a hotel she was out like a light draped over my shoulder like a caber…how wonderfully apt._

_We got to the room and I chucked on the lights. I had my hands strategically placed but my right hand needed to be on her arse to keep her upwards, I could have moved it but I didn't want to. This was a bad sign._

_"Benjamin…is your hand on my arse" I moved my hand immediately and started to lower her backwards._

_"Nope, go to bed"_

_"I wouldn't mind you know" oh Christ_

_"Yes you would"_

_"How was your weekend? Shit…" she hiccupped "…I hope?"_

_"You're a witch when your drunk Lizzie Matthews"_

_"But not your type eh Hammond?"_

_"Nope…your far too clean for me darling" aint that the truth._

_"James Hunter thinks I'm his type"_

_The wolf inside did not like that_

_"James Hunter is not your type girl, stay away from him."_

_"Or what?"_

_I wanted to say 'or I would rip his throat out' but that didn't seem like the right answer, so I said nothing._

_"You want me to be a nun don't you Ben?"_

_"No I certainly do not want that"_

_"I am a big girl now" she said as she shifted her feet in my direction so I could take of her shoes_

_"That you are and one that can take her own shoes off"_

_I sat her down on the bed and took a look at her. She was squirming and waving her hands in the air some kind of signal to turn the lights out but I let her suffer a little before finally submitting and also taking off her shoes. I dimmed the lights and she rolled back and over on her side._

_I thought I would check in with Terrence again anything then carry on the drunken confessional she wanted to have_

_"Hello? Yeah I thought I would book her in at a hotel for the night, I'm going to stay with Connor…I doubt she will do one of those again. No I see your point but I think she is trying to get a little alone time and some independence…no I am not telling you what you should do with her…"_

_I moved away from the bed and into the bathroom_

_"Look Terrence she is 21 next week and she still has a chaperone, how long is this going to go on? She knows the pack better than most of us and they all totally fall in line with her. She doesn't need me and I'm not a babysitter. Lambeth has gone to shit since I have been away and you know it…no James is not handling it! "_

_Terrence went on at me down the phone and in exasperation I decided to let him rant. I opened the door to see what Lizzie was doing and saw that she was asleep. The light from the bathroom seeped out in a light fuzz catching her face as she slept. Gone was the button nose and frizzy hair she had four years ago and in its place was sleek and shiny light brown curls that shone in tri colour depending on the season and a current dash of dark red now tipped the ends. Her nose was soft and straight and her cheeks rosy and healthy in a homely old fashioned way. I once considered her unattractive but that sentiment no longer fitted. She had grown into a jewel that sat in my pocket and I liked it that way. I had noticed the other wolves beginning to circle around her and so had Terrence so I had told myself it was just protective instincts that had been building over time so that my scent didn't give me away when he was there but my wolf disagreed and wanted to claim. I never looked at her in any other way then annoyed until it was just impossible to ignore anymore and I had never had anything so pure and good before…I didn't deserve it and she didn't deserve what I would no doubt do to her I knew what this trip to Edinburgh was about she knew I would come and get her, that I would drop everything I was doing and hunt her down. She knew that my wolf needed it and my god she was right he had paced inside me and scratched to get out when I heard. I forced my eyes to shut and turned back towards the shower turning it on…"Look Terrence…I will stay with her now but I think that when she turns 21 you post me somewhere else ok?"_

_Begrudgingly he agreed and after I ended the call I undressed and stepped into the shower. I didn't come out again until it was cold and then I wrapped myself up in a bathrobe and wandered outside. I don't even remember walking over to the bed but I ran my finger lightly over her cheek_

_"Benjamin…"_

_My wolf growled at me for not taking the next step as he could smell her want and liked it. He had been stalking her for some time and my human half had come to a silent agreement. She had taken to dancing since she came to stay with us and she had chosen to study Ballet. Three times a week I had to take her to some poncey ballet school in the Russian quarter and I would sit outside and refuse to go in making sure that she was out by a certain time or I would come in and embarrass her. Some of the older totty there made it worth my while but after she told her father I had slept with most of the older class I refused to even drop her off. After three years of making her walk a mile in all-weather she decided to not come out on time and true to my three year old word I stalked off to get her, turned out her session had started late and her teacher insisted on her taking the time she was paying for. I had never seen anything more graceful and beautiful in all my life then Elizabeth dancing. I had been alive when Chopin had written his Nocturne in B flat but I had never appreciated it as much as I had at that time. After that I snuck in to watch her every time making sure that I was back at the car in enough time for her not to know, but I felt that she knew and the thought of not seeing her dance again made me sick_

_"Shhh" I softly urged her_

_ The sound of her voice calling my name so quietly and private made me feel alive. I had been with women and none of them had made me feel like that. Men had needs and women were there for that, nothing else. I don't even know the names of any of the faceless whores I took home. If this had been any other woman I would have taken her then and there but this was Lizzie…I had made her cry for a year because she annoyed me so much, the calls during the night the lack of social life I then had even years later she phoned me to fetch tampons from a 24 hour supermarket to get back at me for ditching her one night for a nice little Kensington number, and I in turn smashed my way through a dick heads door because I knew he had taken her back to his house to fuck her and then call her a cab . I hated her with a passion at one time but slowly, I don't know when, that was replaced by something else. She became a confident of sorts and someone who didn't look at me as the fool I played. I had let this go on for far too long and what I was feeling was something that must be like a fatherly bond and that wasn't my place…she would turn 21 and then I was going to fuck off. She deserved a life to cock up on her own and this was one woman I am not going to screw over._

_I allowed myself one more stroke of the cheek and bent down to kiss her forehead, just one more week and I can go home one more week and no more Elizabeth Matthews._

_The thought left me numb._


End file.
